5 Wedding Plus One Etiquette Rules
You’re planning the songs for your ceremony and curating your guest list, but then it hits you. Should you invite your cousin’s new boyfriend? Yikes! Here are five wedding plus one etiquette rules to help you decide.
Why talk about plus one etiquette for weddings?
The details that go into a wedding are endless, and some newly engaged couples may feel a little overwhelmed. One significant stressor that I’ve received complaints about is planning a guest list.
Some couples have large families who all expect to be invited, while others have tight budgets and need to be cautious about the number of guests they invite. The best way to manipulate your guest list is by following plus one etiquette.
5 Wedding Plus One Etiquette Rules
1. To plus one or not to plus one? Ask yourself the following questions.
While it is ultimately a personal decision when creating a rule, you can use the traditional guest etiquette to make your plus one rule. Here are the guests who, according to plus one etiquette, should receive an invitation for an additional guest.
~ Should I invite the spouse of someone who is married?
It is polite to invite the spouse even if you don’t have a close relationship with them, or even if you’ve never met them. Just think ahead to after your wedding. Wouldn’t you wish to dance the night away with your spouse? Including a plus one is respectful to their relationship.
~ Do I need to invite those who are engaged or living with their partner?
Again, it is a thoughtful gesture to include a plus one when someone is in a serious relationship. Everyone’s relationship is a little different, so that they can be just as committed as a married couple, minus the ring.
~ Do members of the wedding party automatically get a plus one?
If you choose to have a wedding party, it is crucial to allow them to bring a guest. Wedding parties often put forward a lot of time and money to be included in your wedding. Pay that forward by giving them the choice to bring a guest.
~ Do I let someone who doesn’t know other guests bring an extra guest?
Have someone who isn’t familiar with your other guests? Provide them with a plus one. This will keep them from feeling awkward or leaving earlier than the rest of your guests.
photo by Emma Bauso
2. Adhere to a consistent plus one rule.
Someone will inevitably reach out to you if they did not get the opportunity to bring a guest and wish to have one. By making a clear plus one rule, you can respond politely with a reason why you did not allow an additional guest. “Only family and the wedding party are receiving a plus one,” or “I’m sorry, we only gave a plus one to people who are married or in a serious relationship.”
3. Avoid extending excessive invitations.
Be realistic about your guest list when deciding who gets a plus one. Remember, each plate has a price tag, so your budget needs to accommodate everyone who attends. Trimming the fat from the guest list will be the easiest way to get your guest list down if you’ve gone over. Adjust your rule and remove anyone you can if you have exceeded your intended number of people to invite.
4. Make the verbiage on your wedding invitations very clear.
Make sure you include either the name of a plus one on the invitation or write “Guest” with the person you are inviting. Including the name of a plus one will help reduce the amount of invitation swapping. It can also lower the cost of your wedding if that specific guest cannot attend.
If names are printed on response cards, it will serve as a helpful reminder that only those people are invited. Many wedding guests are not aware of the etiquette they need to follow when receiving an invitation or attending a wedding, so the clearer you can be, the better.
5. Forego inviting problematic guests.
This may be a big forward, but avoid drama when choosing who gets a plus one. If you have a friend with a rowdy boyfriend, only extend the invitation to your friend. You may need to have a delicate conversation about why they didn’t get an extra guest. However, it will save you a big headache by being prudent.
Save our rules for wedding plus one etiquette!
Alli Dillenbeck is a wedding coordinator and marketing manager in Upstate NY. When she is not planning events, she tends to her extensive plant collection.
These are great tips! I can only imagine how difficult it would be to try and configure a guest list that would please everyone. Super tough!
I didn’t know some of these rules! Thanks for sharing!
I remember the guest list being really hard to figure out when I got married! You want to make people happy, but at the same time, you have to pay for whoever is there!
These are good tips, I wish I had this information for when I got married lol. Thanks for the post girl!
Keilara
This is exactly how we did it for our wedding, and it was a pretty great success. Of course, there are always a couple of people who are bummed they can’t bring someone with them, but for the most part, it’s a very small amount of complaints.
This is such an awesome post and great tips to have a seamless and less stressful wedding!
Kileen
cute & little
As someone who has a wedding coming up, this is SO helpful! Thank you so much for this ! I didn’t know who should bring who!
These are great things to have in mind, not just as a person who’s extending the invite but also as a person who gets wedding invites. It’s good to know when I could feel like I should ask for a plus one or not.
These are great etiquette tips to know! Thank you so much for sharing!
This is so interesting. We gave everyone the option of bringing a plus-one to our wedding but these all make total sense.
Great tips on wedding invite and especially to those who wants to bring their partners but not married ones. As in India wedding is a grand affair and sometimes we overlook these small things which creates a long confusion and chaos afterwards. But you put some great points and advice in your post.
This was a great read! We definitely went overboard with plus-ones and it’s the one thing I wish we could take back. I wish we would’ve had this post back in the day.