How to Communicate Better with Your Guy

Communication in relationships is key! After all, it’s how we make little decisions, like where to go for dinner, or big ones, like buying a home. If you have gone through a bit of trial and error and are wondering how to communicate better with your fiancé, there are a few keys to talking it out. And we’ve got the scoop!

This is an updated republish of an article by Rachael Eberle.

Tips for How to Communicate Better

I watch superhero movies through the skeptical eyes of a realist. The ability to fly? Nonsense! Teleportation? Yeah right! While I roll my eyes at these mythical characters and their abilities, there is one ability that, for a long time, I believed was perfectly attainable by every male specimen: mind-reading. Every guy should know that when I say, “I don’t care,” I really mean, “I want to watch 27 Dresses, not Saving Private Ryan, and you better agree!” Duh!

But ladies, as much as we would love for our guys to be mind readers, they never will be. They need us to express what we want and need, and they hate guessing games! So instead of waiting for your fiancé to develop super-human abilities, try incorporating these tips.

Knowing how to fix communication in a relationship falls to both partners.

1. Tell him exactly what you want.

Men are usually blunt and honest, and they find it refreshing when a woman is forthright. So instead of saying, “I’m so tired of doing the dishes. If only someone else could do them …” try “Honey, would you please do the dishes?”

The importance of communication in a relationship is evident, and you can respect that by being straightforward instead of cryptic.

2. Speak the truth in love.

Being honest doesn’t mean you have to be hurtful or rude. Avoid critical, name-calling statements like, “Stop being so lazy and help me!”

Instead, you could say, “I sometimes feel resentful when I end up doing most of the housework. It would mean so much if you could help me by taking out the trash.” Couples who know how to fix communication in a relationship have this one down pat.

How to get a man to communicate? Be open and honest with him.

3. Be receptive and responsive.

Healthy communication in relationships is a two-way street, and men need to feel comfortable expressing their emotions without fear of repercussions. For instance, I used to struggle with a persistent habit of mentally crafting the “right” response. If my husband said what I wanted to hear, he was safe. If not, game over.

As a result, my husband would try to figure out what I wanted to hear instead of telling me what he honestly thought. Now I try to listen to him without deciding what he should say. If we disagree, that does not mean he is wrong.

Good communication in relationships lays a healthy foundation for marriage.

Address unhealthy thoughts on how to communicate better.

Unfortunately, many couples struggle with clear communication because they hold misconceptions about their emotions. In the book Simple Secrets of a Great Marriage, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend state that “many people have been taught that their wants don’t matter, are selfish, or have little or no chance of being fulfilled. So they shut down from feeling those things and communicating them.”

If there is something you are longing to share with your fiancé, reflect on why you have refrained from doing so. Is it because you are afraid of his response? Perhaps your fiancé has not expressed something because he feels it is unimportant.

To get a man to communicate, share your fears and hesitations with your significant other, and encourage him to do the same. Assure him that his thoughts and feelings are important to you.

Knowing the importance of communication in a relationship is key.

How to Communicate in Relationships

While your guy may never be able to shoot spider webs or travel at the speed of light, he still needs to know that he is your Superman, and healthy communication affirms that. So what are you waiting for? Talk it out!

Now that you know how to communicate in relationships, you are well on your way. For more relationship advice, check out this post on fighting fair.

Save our talking points for a great relationship!