Marriage isn’t just about starting a new family with your spouse. You’re also starting a new family by joining their family with yours, which can be especially difficult with a bride and her future MIL. Avoid these 6 mistakes brides make to set your relationship up for success.
Avoid Common Mistakes Brides Make Unintentionally
Of course, you want to start your relationship with your mother-in-law on the right foot. To ensure that you don’t make any unintentional faux pas, here are six of the most common mistakes brides make when talking to their future mother-in-law.
6 Common Mistakes Brides Make With Their MIL
Mistake 1: You don’t listen to your future mother-in-law and her wishes.
Your mother-in-law might have expectations about planning the wedding or ideas that could be exactly what you’re looking for. You don’t need to cater your entire wedding to her likes and dislikes, especially if it goes against what you want.
However, you should try and respect her wishes when they make sense. You can even include some of her ideas on things that don’t really matter to you.
Mistake 2: You ignore your own wishes as the bride-to-be.
You don’t have to submit to your mother-in-law’s requests just because she is your partner’s mother. If you have your heart on something, whether it be your wedding dress or a theme for your wedding, this is YOUR day, not hers.
While you should respectfully hear her out, you don’t have to go with every suggestion she makes. Definitely don’t let an overbearing MIL make the day all about her, but take the time to thoughtfully explain your choices if she’s adamant about hers.
Mistake 3: You use your spouse-to-be as a mediator.
It might seem easier to have your future spouse “handle” his mom. However, this could unintentionally communicate that you don’t like her or don’t want her as part of your special day.
Make a point to reach out to her instead of just having your future spouse always be the one to make contact. Bring her along to some of your vendor visits, or just sit down for lunch together throughout the planning process.
Mistake 4: You never talk to your mother-in-law.
A lot of things can be lost in translation through text, such as tone, sarcasm, etc. This doesn’t even consider that most of our parent’s generation isn’t used to communicating via text.
When you have the time, you should pick up the phone to call your mother-in-law or at least meet her in person sometimes. This will not only mean the world to her but also make communicating about the wedding easier.
Mistake 5: You forget about the relationship after the wedding.
You’ve said your “I dos,” and you’re finally married! Wedding planning is so stressful that tensions can easily get heated during and before the big day.
While you should be respectful, don’t forget about the bonds you’ve made while planning your wedding ceremony and reception. After all, you are family now and will see each other often.
Mistake 6: You don’t view your MIL as family.
A common mistake some brides make is that they don’t really see their spouse’s family as their own. Relationships can take some time, especially if you are just now meeting their side of the family.
However, these are people you will likely be spending the remainder of your lives together visiting and spending time with. So, it’s important to change your mindset and start viewing your mother-in-law as another family member. Of course, she shouldn’t replace your own mom, but she is still an important part of your spouse’s life.
Save our 6 mistakes brides make!
After reading through these mistakes, hopefully, you’ve either realized that you are making them or made a note not to do them yourself. These little changes can transform your relationship with your mother-in-law and make you have a stronger bond after the wedding.